Posts Tagged: Trump claims

Jun 18


I’m gonna start a website called “How do you Know it’s not True?” dot com, if someone hasn’t, and the first story I’ll have in it is about how the Australians have a secret program for cross breeding humans with kangaroos to make a human-kangaroo hybrid soldier. The hybrid leaping/shooting soldier will have a partner, a Mini-me sized midget in a kangaroo “pocket” with his own gun for additional firepower.

The Second Story will be about how the Earth is not round or flat–it’s shaped like an origami swan.

The Third Story will be about how archaeologists have found an ancient spaceship designed by the Romans in the third century, made out of terracotta and iron. A secret Roman spacecraft cult was planning to use it to escape to the moon which, they believed, was an endless orgiastic paradise populated by beautiful forever-feasting women.

The Fourth Story will claim that Trump didn’t collude with the Russians.

Oct 16

Apparently You’re Supposed to Vote for Trump Because He was Given a Lunch

Our Voter’s Pamphlet here includes a section for the Presidential candidates. Clinton’s statement is almost entirely a list of the issues and plans for the country. DONALD J TRUMP’s “statement” tells us he is a success story, that he’s the author of “15 bestsellers” and “Mr. Trump has over 20 million followers on social media…” He claims to have raised millions of dollars for veterans but the only example he gives is “working as Grand Marshal of the 1996 annual New York City Veteran’s Day parade…in front of an audience of 1.4 million viewers…”and he was “honored by the Pentagon” for this by being “given a lunch with the Secretary of Defense”.

Meanwhile, “in New York City, the Trump signature is synonymous with the most prestigious of addresses, among them the world renowned Fifth Avenue skyscraper, Trump Tower, and his ever-expanding collection of award-winning golf course (18 thus far).” The statement includes six lines of generality about his policies, eg ” promote a free market” and “rebuild our military” (which apparently shrank when I wasn’t looking, is no longer Pac Man munching wildly on the US budget)…

Almost all of the statement’s 5 paragraphs concerns things Trump owns, or his popularity. So vote for Trump’s golf courses, and his real estate, and his social media presence. And his having sat in a car and waved at people as Grand Marshal in a veteran’s parade even though he actually wriggled out of military service.

All of Clinton’s statement is on the issues–except she includes a line or two of political platitudes about national unity.