Posts Tagged: extraterrestrials

Nov 18

Why Aliens WOULDN’T Invade Earth…

As a science-fiction writer, a guy who’s written–mostly from a skeptical viewpoint–about UFOs, and a person with a general interest in the cosmos, I sometimes wonder how things would play out if we were visited by extraterrestrials. Would they be benevolent? Or would it be like the pre-Columbian tribes facing sickness and enslavement from Columbus and Cortez? Would it be like “Independence Day”–an all out war? An invasion?

For the first time, it occurred to me today that they probably would not invade us. Invasion presumably takes a great deal of energy and commitment of resources. If they use some form of money, it’d take that too. It might take a punishingly large amount of energy, personnel, resources, and sheer risk to cross the vast stretch of interstellar light years with the aim of prosecuting an invasion of Earth. Even if they have some faster-than-light or wormhole traversing system, some subspace warpdrive that can get them and their resources here rather handily, they’d still be taking a major risk. They’d have to think about our bacteria, or viruses, which might be enough to defeat them unless they have some universal immunity biotech developed. Even if they have sufficient protection–invasion condoms, so to speak–they would have to have a lot of confidence that their weapons outstripped ours. Maybe they would be more powerfully weaponized, but a race that’s gotten to the moon and back is pretty flexible and resourceful and quick-witted. We might come up with something effective. And nuclear weapons, while crude, might actually be powerful enough to be an interstellar deterrent.

But there’s another consideration–do we have anything they want that badly? The chances are, their own biology is singular to their world. Probably our atmosphere would not suit them; probably our (rather damaged) biosphere would not be suitable either. They would likely have a whole different set of biological needs. They’d be better served to alter some suitable raw lifeless planet to fit their needs. If they flourish in methane, they’d seek a methane rich planet and modify it for their purposes. So much easier than an invasion.

The final consideration is, if they’re smart enough to get here they’re intelligent enough to know that we are worthy of study; they’d know that–even if we’re more primitive than they in some respects–we may have something to offer that would repay them more than an invasion would…

Finally, we come to the conclusion–it just wouldn’t pay to invade Earth…

May 15


The rumor of extraterrestrials having been spotted in pornography, engaged in coitus with humans, is…Well, wait, I’m getting ahead of myself. First, other porn issues.

I’ve got nothing against porn as long as it’s consenting adult humans–*real* adults, and *real* consenting. Some is rumored to be “actually underage” and sometimes people are enslaved into it. That’s bad. I don’t survey porn so I don’t know how much of that there is, but there’s said to be so much porn it seems likely some involves human trafficking. You’ll notice I said “consenting adult humans”. I’m opposed to bestiality in porn or outside it. Even if the animal appears to be “consenting”–it isn’t. It’s not good for animals, however they may feel in the sexual moment. It’s a form of cruelty to animals.

As for “alien” porn…Of course you can probably find people dressed as extraterrestrials engaging in porn. Gray Alien rubber masks, what have you. But the reason there isn’t real ET/alien porn (that we know of) has something to do with the same feeling that underlies my proscription against bestiality–and it’s not because the extraterrestrials are beasts. It’s because we are. From the extraterrestrial point of view, sex with humans is a degrading form of bestiality. They regard us as very, very primitive. It’s would be something like a human having sex with a well-trained orangutan.

I have intercepted an extraterrestrial message from a certain very advanced, somewhat-humanoid race; the message apparently is a small part of the sex education for the ET young. Thanks to being the pet of an an indulgent extraterrestrial (who has turned me down for sex many times), I was able to have the message translated into English. Here is the message, sent to juvenile aliens on field trips:

“Yes Earth humans are hominids, as they term it, and we observers from Slixnux are also technically hominids. But taking into account the feeble brain size, comprehension levels, and the savagery of these humans, along with their spiritual baseness, it would be a striking indication of a sexual pathology to engage in sexual intimacy with the human race of Earth. If other intelligent galactic races choose to have sex with Earth humans, we will not interfere. It is their own responsibility, should they choose to debase themselves. The giant furred arachnids of SKLSJ6867, however, might be deemed reprehensible in such a case, since their mating with humans could well lead to feeding on them at the climax of the nuptial ritual…”