Posts Tagged: candy crush


12
Jul 16

Screwtape looks for new Ways to Make us Waste Our Lives

“We’re running out of ways to get people to waste their lives! Suppose they realize they’re mortal, suppose their denial fails and they realize they don’t have time to play Candy Crush and stare at pictures of celebrities and ogle monkeys riding zebras on their phones? Suppose they realize that, speaking of monkeys, internet porn is ‘Welcome to the Monkey House’ time? Some of them…are starting to spend more time outside! It must be stopped!”

“You worry too much, Soulquid old boy!” Screwtape insisted. “They go outside…and stumble about staring into their phones. They ignore their children in the park while they check their Twitter feeds. We have them doing all this while driving! The misery they create with car accidents is delicious!”

“But Screwtape old demon,” Soulquid spat, actually emitting a blackened stream of soul-based chaw, “Sometimes they glance about and show an interest in something other than the electronic narcissism we prepared for them…”

“Oh what’s a glance or two! We’ll soon have them back on track! You see–we have now introduced games played outside, like Pokemon Go. The player is only technically outside when theyr’e playing these ‘Geo AR’ games, Mixed Reality games–the player does move physically about a bit, outside, but they’re still staring into the screens! The hypnosis is unbroken! And of course there’s advertising in the game and many other ways we can enter their unconscious minds while they play! … Soulquid, old fellow *do* cease to spit your soul chaw about, I’ve just had my hooves shined.”