Those of You Who Feel We Should Not Surrender to the Extraterrestrials

Those of you who feel we humans should not surrender to the extraterrestrial invasion force have not seen what I have–their vast superiority in fire power. They can burn us into powder and blow us away. Whereas if we surrender, we’ll all be guaranteed jobs–some will be miners, some will be employed loading special minerals onto ships, some will employed as food, it’s all important work–and we’ll have true worldwide peace for the first time! Some of us have been asked to act as special intermediaries, supervisors over the rest of humanity, because of our pro-actively signing up for the job, when we got the private notifications. I’ll be happy to answer your questions at the UN this Monday. I’m sure when the news about the invasion came out this evening you were all quite horrified but–oh. What? Today isn’t the eleventh of November?! Oh! I thought…I mean…We’ll talk saturday when, uh..that is…I was just kidding. The whole thing. A joke. Forget it.

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