DONALD TRUMP TO BE KING OF HIS OWN HUGE PLANET

“And so, Mr Trump, as the Secretary General of the United Nations…”

“And I, as head of NASA…”

“And I as head of the Republican Party…”

“All of us wish to give you this great honor. We, and millions of others, have agreed that you should be *king of your own planet!*”

“Wow. I can’t say I’m surprised, I should be–I mean, sure, it sounds like I haven’t got modesty, but I do, but let’s face it, let’s be honest, I SHOULD be king of the world.”

“Ah, yes, BUT this world is too small for you, sir–we have one that’s hundreds and hundreds of times bigger than this world…it’s a gas giant in the Phlebotnick System, and we feel that you deserve to be–and should have the honor of being…the sole king of it.”

“Wow. Being king, I make all my own decisions, right, no congress! I mean, how great is that? How many people would I rule over?”

“Well–it’s a very big planet. So–just imagine how many there are there!”

“Billions and maybe trillions, right? But how would I get there?”

“Oh we’ve arranged fast transportation for you! You’ll be going at something approaching the speed of light!

“And you can come back anytime you can!”

“What? What do you mean ‘anytime I can’?”

“Oh, oh he means, anytime you want to come, why you just get in the spaceship, and fire her up and…you’ll see!”

“Okay, but I want that in writing.”

“Certainly. We’ll fax it to you.”

“And I’d better bring my wife. Or maybe she could come later. Don’t want to disappoint the ladies who want to meet the king on this planet!”

“You won’t be disappointing any ladies there, Mr Trump! Every lady there will be available to…meet you.”

“Now, Mr Trump–right this way, sir–we’ll send you out immediately. You can have a press conference there the instant you arrive. Talk to anyone you like!”

“Ha! No Hillary there, right? No Paul Ryan?”

“They definitely don’t plan to go!”

“Right through this door sir! Make yourself comfortable in that chair.”

“This chair is pretty¬† comfortable, not bad. But damn, its strapping me in, like it’s grabbing me and holding me down, here. I need a designer chair, I know a guy in Italy…”

“No time for that, Mr Trump! Bon Voyage!”

“Hey wait! What about a lunch on the way!”

“Your needs will all be taken care of! Good bye!”

“Lock the door down, Bill. Step back…farther…countdown begins…”

*** *** ***

“It’s gone! A successful launch!”

“Let’s go people, we don’t want to be late for the worldwide celebration!”

The Happy Ending

Inspired by: Kepler Has Nearly Doubled the Number of Confirmed Exoplanets in Our Galaxy

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