Society of Evil Witches: Regarding Free Range Children

A recently intercepted statement in the newsletter that is normally Secretly Distributed by THE INTERNATIONAL SOCIETY OF EVIL WITCHES tells us us that Evil Witches have misinterpreted a recent news item about “Free Range Children”:

‘…and I’d really like to know how it got out that we allow many marked children to run free range before we pick them up for harvest when they’re nice and plump about seven or eight years old…I for one am too old–six hundred and fourteen years for Satan’s Sake!–to change my diet significantly now. Additionally, if this kind of thing is widely reported we’ll have to bring children into fattening barns, as we did in the old days. It is so much more economically workable to allow parents–especially in America–to unwittingly fatten the children for us. Vanished-child police reports will be examined more closely, if this goes on…We’ll have to move our dens, and in the end we’ll all be strapped for cash, paying for the barns and the food. We need to find whoever has been speaking indiscreetly about Free Range Children, and subject the loudmouth to punishment.’

It’s only fair that we inform the ISOEW that the report refers to children who are raised with more independence; it does not refer to the food source of evil witches.

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