The rumor of extraterrestrials having been spotted in pornography, engaged in coitus with humans, is…Well, wait, I’m getting ahead of myself. First, other porn issues.

I’ve got nothing against porn as long as it’s consenting adult humans–*real* adults, and *real* consenting. Some is rumored to be “actually underage” and sometimes people are enslaved into it. That’s bad. I don’t survey porn so I don’t know how much of that there is, but there’s said to be so much porn it seems likely some involves human trafficking. You’ll notice I said “consenting adult humans”. I’m opposed to bestiality in porn or outside it. Even if the animal appears to be “consenting”–it isn’t. It’s not good for animals, however they may feel in the sexual moment. It’s a form of cruelty to animals.

As for “alien” porn…Of course you can probably find people dressed as extraterrestrials engaging in porn. Gray Alien rubber masks, what have you. But the reason there isn’t real ET/alien porn (that we know of) has something to do with the same feeling that underlies my proscription against bestiality–and it’s not because the extraterrestrials are beasts. It’s because we are. From the extraterrestrial point of view, sex with humans is a degrading form of bestiality. They regard us as very, very primitive. It’s would be something like a human having sex with a well-trained orangutan.

I have intercepted an extraterrestrial message from a certain very advanced, somewhat-humanoid race; the message apparently is a small part of the sex education for the ET young. Thanks to being the pet of an an indulgent extraterrestrial (who has turned me down for sex many times), I was able to have the message translated into English. Here is the message, sent to juvenile aliens on field trips:

“Yes Earth humans are hominids, as they term it, and we observers from Slixnux are also technically hominids. But taking into account the feeble brain size, comprehension levels, and the savagery of these humans, along with their spiritual baseness, it would be a striking indication of a sexual pathology to engage in sexual intimacy with the human race of Earth. If other intelligent galactic races choose to have sex with Earth humans, we will not interfere. It is their own responsibility, should they choose to debase themselves. The giant furred arachnids of SKLSJ6867, however, might be deemed reprehensible in such a case, since their mating with humans could well lead to feeding on them at the climax of the nuptial ritual…”

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