Who’s that Half Naked Man out Waving a Broom at the Rain?

The other night we were lying in bed, I was reading and my wife was asleep, and suddenly I heard a dramatic YOWWWWW WOWWWWWWW OWWWOWOWOWOOOOW from out front, long drawn out cat yowlings. The kind of thing they do when rival domestic cats face one another outside; they draw in their bodies, hunkering tautly near one another, and lay their ears back and make those long mournful warning sounds, embellished with hisses. One of our cats is very turfy thuggish about his territory. I knew that was him and that he was probably facing off with a notorious orange furred troublemaker. I wanted my wife to sleep peacefully because she’d not had enough sleep the night before and I knew there would be a full blown fight soon so I got up, only half awake really, to try to put a stop to it before the cats fought with squallings and screeches and the dogs heard and started barking at them. So I went out front, in the light rain, with a broom, and yelled, waving the broom, and the orange intruder went streaking away. But then I realized I was standing on the wet sidewalk in my underwear, barefoot, in the rain, with a broom in my hand, waving it at the sky and yelling, “Hey, hey!” I saw lights go on in the neighbor’s windows.

I slunk into the house, grateful no police car had been patrolling past…

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