Trapped! Caught in the Web of the Golden Haired Imps!

I was accosted yesterday, trapped. Small creatures they were, with bright eyes and golden hair. They bore a strange device, a kind of vest with cryptic badges upon it. They gazed upon me and asked if I would like to buy some of their “Girl Scout Cookies”. I patted my stomach and said, “Do I look like I need cookies?” The smallest one nodded gravely and said yes. I sighed, and feeling myself completely under the spell of these imps, these creatures of faery, my will crumbled and I said, “Which ones do you recommend I get?” The small golden haired imp excitedly pointed to the row of cookie boxes and said, “THis one! And this one! And this one over here! And this one! Four times five is twenty!” Helpless, I gave her a twenty dollar bill and took the four kinds of cookies recommended. I was able to leave, then, and walked away, in a trance.

My wife ate several of the cookies last night. Me, I ate only ONE COOKIE. I will not eat more. I will not. I’ve already been supernaturally dominated by these creatures. Why should I submit to their “Thin Mints” and their “Samoas”? And yet I seem to hear a soft singing, from the kitchen…

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