Shortly After the Hawaii Molasses Pipeline Disaster, the Marshmallow Pipeline Exploded, Leading To

New disaster in Hawaii–the little multicolored marshmallow pipeline has exploded. The explosion led to the rupture of a hot chocolate pipeline which in turn led to the disastrous spill of a delicious soothing before-bed treat. Birds have been seen picking marshmallows out of their feathers and looking alarmingly…irritated. Meanwhile the damaged bourbon whiskey pipeline in Tennessee has nearly been repaired, with thousands of volunteers drilling small holes in it to suck it dry until the plug could be set in place.

In Seattle, a pipe carrying millions of gallons of free trade organic coffee has exploded, boiling thousands of pairs of hiking boots…

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