Secret Emails From Resigned CIA Director David Petraeus To His Mistress

– as imagined by John Shirley…

My darling winky dinky pretty puss-puss, how this new job weighs on me, everyone is “oh we have to be so secret”, even more than when I was a General, what are they worrying about? Is it that damn new particle beam destruction device we’re putting in orbit to take out Tehran? I mean christ who’s ever going to imagine THAT?! BTW did I leave my laptop in your bathroom?

…Oh My darling sweet bumps lovey-popo, can’t wait to meet you in the penthouse suite at the Watergate Hotel again, we’ll do it standing up against that big window the way you like, no one will be able to see who it is, unless of course they have long range spyscopes but, ha ha,

[THE REST OF THE IMAGINARY EMAILS IN THIS SHORT SATIRICAL PIECE IS--well click on the link here: ]

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