Fed Ex to Replace Workers with Catapults

‎”Fed Ex Announces Lay Offs, Plans to Replace Drivers with Catapults” -

The public need not be concerned, says Fed Ex Spokesman Vaguelina Bland, as new “precision aiming technology” will enable Fed Ex to propel packages to locations with confidence and exactitude. Bubble wrap, exterior and exterior, will reduce damage to packages and recipients “significantly”.

UPS however says it does not think catapults are safe. “We are planning to use trained orangutans instead.”


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