The Republicans are not only trying, again, to ban abortion–they’re trying to ban birth control, as this article explains:


The Catholics are of course delighted. I tried to explain to a Catholic friend of mine that if the anti-contraception people want to get serious they must deal with SPERM SPILLAGE as well as simply not having condoms and so on. If you have sex, even without contraception, millions of sperm are lost–they’re drippage, ending up in a stain on the bed. This cannot be allowed, if you’re serious about the sacredness of every sperm. So we need SACRED SPERM TWEEZERS which are used, along with a special SACRED SPERM MICROSCOPE (The Holy Spermscope?), to identify and pluck individual sperm from bedsheets, to somehow preserve them. We may also have special vagina spillage cups to catch the sperm so we can save it. Even then Sacred Sperm Tweezers will be necessary to pluck sperm from the end of penises and the vulva, for example. And then there’s menstrual flow–there may be intact ova in it. We need to save all that, all tampons must be saved and treasured. This process will of course take inordinate amounts of time and money, the vaults for the sperm and menstruation will be gigantic, and expensive to build, but it must be done. Catholics and other anti-birth-control enthusiasts had better get started.

Meanwhile, here’s music to listen to while plucking sperms with sacred sperm tweezers. EVERY SPERM IS SACRED by Monty Python

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