25
May 13

SHELL SHOCKED! THE HORROR OF HOWARD!

You’ve heard of Zelig–but who is the Zelig of 1960s and post 60s rocknroll? You’ve heard of the “Wrecking Crew” band but who is the Wrecking Crew of background singing? The SECRET IS NOW REVEALED! Read the CHILLING TRUTH in this SCANDALOUS MEMOIR by legendary rock singer Howard Kaylan in which we learn that he and Mark Volman were the vocal “wrecking crew” that added that mysterious something extra needed to many famous hit songs by people OTHER than the Turtles like MARC BOLAN and, yes, even The Psychedelic furs and…you wouldn’t believe how many. Nor would you believe how many names Howard can drop in one paragraph. And what of Howard’s shameful secrets? His participation in…CARE BEARS?! Oh yes, his legendary exploits with SUBSTANCES, his sampling of VIRTUALLY EVERY GROUPIE IN NORTH AMERICA AND EUROPE…and his salacious, substance mad relations with many others who didn’t KNOW they were groupies until…too late! The terrifying story of the one who crossed her legs unless he …did what? You’ll read it all here…Your hands will shake by the end of the book. Did Howard really snort lines off Lincoln’s desk in the White House? Did he nearly get shot because some idiots thought a piece of band equipment was a bomb? Did he actually puke hugely all over…*him*…?!

Did he actually do THOSE OTHER THINGS with Frank Zappa?! The nightmarish truth is revealed…but only if you can bear it…in SHELL SHOCKED: MY LIFE WITH THE TURTLES, FLO AND EDDIE AND FRANK ZAPPA Etc:

http://www.amazon.com/Shell-Shocked-Turtles-Eddie-Frank/dp/1617808466/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1369513729&sr=1-1&keywords=shell+shocked+howard+kaylan


17
May 13

MOST EXTENSIVE INTERVIEW WITH JOHN SHIRLEY…EVER

At the new MICHAEL MOORCOCK’S NEW WORLDS MAGAZINE…here: http://newworlds.co.uk/nonfiction.php?nonfiction_id=4

The magazine also contains a new John Shirley short story. The interview is free and open. The rest of the publication requires a payment made to the publisher.


13
May 13

Most Religious Rituals, maybe all, are Meaningless. But once upon a time…

Religious rituals don’t have the point, the meaning, they originally had. So it seems to me. Perhaps they’re still of value to some of you. To many people, if not most, they’re misdirection, and mere conditioning. Once, long ago–millenia ago, in most cases–rituals were a device, something like a symbol mnemonic (or legominism), for remembering that we’re connected to something higher, and that those who engaged in the ritual had a goal, a fundamental wish to remain in conscious connection. But the meaning in the ritual was lost over time; the original meaning wasn’t accurately transmitted through history’s endless “game of telephone”. Ritualism is a flawed system. The practice of self-remembering works better.

Self-remembering doesn’t involve “selfishness”–it is remembering to observe the self, and my state of presence or lack of presence; my connectedness or lack of connectedness to the world around me, in the moment, along with the state of my inner life. It relies on ideas, and good habits, instead of ritual. It’s a system that’s more integral to daily life.


13
May 13

The Dance of the Mundane

It’s easy to see the rhythms of life in dance, even ballet; it’s not as easy to see the music, the rhythm of dance, in mundane life. It’s been suggested, though, often enough, in musicals; maybe people on a street hawking wares, in a musical the cries of mongers are alternatively repeated, becoming a song; a group of sailors with mops on a deck turn their swishings into dance, and so on. One can see something like that in daily life; my wife and I shopping, putting things in baskets, her and then me, stepping aside for other people in a reasonably graceful way, she opens the car trunk while I lift the groceries, I put them in, she closes the trunk, we step into the car, her and I almost at once, the doors closing slam/slam. The movements of my body around the yard…

A lot of it has to do with moving one’s body in the environs, the space co-composing the music with you, I move around this object, to get at this one, and the most mindful way to do it is fairly rhythmical, there is just a *hint* of dance to the motion, especially when linked with other motions…If I pay attention…


10
May 13

No This is NOT a Real Hilary Clinton Statement

I had an elaborate fantasy about Hilary Clinton today. No, not that kind of fantasy. I envisaged her giving a press conference: “The tragic violence at the embassy in Benghazi will not and should not be forgotten. There is plenty of blame to go around. My department was complacent about security, some were slow to respond, Special Forces were frustrated in attempts to reach the embassy (frustrated through no fault of theirs), and Republicans in Congress failed to provide enough money for embassy security upgrades. However most of the current microscopic perusal and rehashing of the tragedy is happening for one reason. The Republicans believe I’m going to run for President so they hope to smear me, in a way that will prevent me from winning when that time comes. But in fact I already decided not to run–oh, I left the door open a sliver, for a while, because Bill wanted me to, but I have now closed that door. I will not be running for President. As a consequence, Republicans can now drop the Benghazi distortions and get back to the real work of Congress–perhaps now they can be freed up to work on, say, rebuilding infrastructure, instead. Again, I will not run for President. I would however like to make an endorsement. Elizabeth Warren for President.”


10
May 13

Don’t Tell Anyone About the Corndogs

A week or two ago my friend Terry Bisson took me to the Stock Car races in Antioch. I know little of races of any sort but I was fascinated by the scene. Early on a version of the national anthem was played over loudspeakers, and everyone stood up and took off their hats, put their hands on their hearts. I saw two fellows in cowboy hats during this; one knocked off the other’s hat because the fella couldn’t take it off himself, as he had a beer in each hand. No disagreement ensued–it seemed quite sensible to the one who couldn’t get his hat off…

It was a dirt track, not very big, and when the cars raced around it their wheels spun up clods of dirt and mud that pattered over the people walking near the fence.

There were several kinds of stock cars; the first ones were all battered, some with their numbers hand painted on the sides. They tended to spin out a lot. Others were slicker, customized Torinos or Trans Ams; another race was something called Sprint cars, almost like midget race cars, running on methanol and frequently backfiring. Several women drivers took part, and there was a driver said to be 85 years old, 60+ years in racing. We sat in bleachers, open to the crisp night and a lot of car exhaust–we were high over most of that, with a great view.

Beer was consumed, and Terry ate one of the hamburgers, which he said was pleasing for the price; I will now confess that I ate a corndog. I’m not supposed to eat corndogs. This is between me and you. Don’t tell anyone…

The announcer calling the race could not be heard over the roar of the engines.

We had a fine time.


29
Apr 13

THE SECRET LIFE OF TV COMMERCIALS

[This article originally appeared in THE RAW STORY: CULTURE CLUTCH--I canvassed some of my facebook friends on the subject and they contributed to it]

TV commercials that reveal a sickness…

A couple of dandelions force their way up through cracks in the sidewalk—just two yellow wildflowers looking for the sun. A tall, rawboned white guy stalks up; he’s armed with the weed killer Round Up, instead of a six-gun. He spots the dandelions—and turns toward them. The dandelions shrink back in fear, they recoil in horror, seeing the big sprayer for Round Up. They seem to be screaming in fear. They try to draw away…but he fires his sprayer unerringly, the toxin soaking the two small wildflowers, so that they wither, choking, shivering, turning brown…dying before our eyes.

Justice is done.

That’s a current Round Up commercial; special effects expertly used to make you watch, chuckle, appreciate the CGI…and the ability of Round Up to kill wild flowers.

Of course, dandelions are a “weed” that grows commonly in American yards and playing fields. Children play commonly, in yards, on lawns, park playing fields. Lingering Round Up –and boy does it linger—endangers children and pets, especially. E.g., http://www.rodale.com/roundup

But what made me recoil from that ad, like the cartoony weeds recoiling from the weed killer, is the state of mind it represents. Vulgarity? Sure, but that’s not it. The Round Up commercial is all about greed, mindless destruction, and the most brutish side of civilization. Only, the Round Up execs don’t consciously know it’s about that—they look at it and chuckle and say, “Hey cute, I like that.” The Mad Ave guys who came up with it probably don’t know, or don’t care (advertising firms are famous for not caring), how sick it is.

Someone reading this is thinking, “But it’s just a cartoon sort of image, plants don’t suffer, they don’t have nervous systems, they don’t recoil in horror.” And that person is correct—but I’m not making any absurd claims about plant consciousness. I’m talking about our consciousness.

The real message of the commercial is layered—one layer is, brutality works. Ruthlessness is efficient. Round Up is brutal and efficient—and cheap. You can save money, we can make money. Fast. Another layer is, chemical toxins enhance purity. They burn away the vile intrusiveness of nature. Another layer concerns the ease with which it’s done—the toxins empower you to change your world with a splash. No need to dig the plants up (the preferred way of dealing with them, in an intelligent society, and one that can provide gainful employment.) No–burn them away with household Agent Orange. Since the image is cartoonish, there’s another layer of implication that it’s almost fun, and it’s all harmless, childlike fun. This counters the teasing little suspicion at the back of some viewer’s minds that the toxin might in fact be dangerous to their household…Oh, look, it’s all just CGI funtime.

Another layer concerns the psychological power of big men who spray fluids, getting their way, cheerfully crushing every aspect of nature, even small harmless wildflowers, under the steamroller of civilization. And perhaps there’s something in the ad’s imagery that resonates with some ancient primate instinct for urinating territorially…

A series of Terminex pesticide commercials show giant science-fiction-horror monsters growing in a kitchen, rearing over us, nasty creatures like giant maggots that want to kill us, eat us. Some household bugs may carry problematic bacteria, and this is mentioned in the ad. And a voice says that household pests are monsters.

There’s been a good deal of publicity about the health risks of exposure to pesticides. Cancer is mentioned a lot. The scary word neurotoxin is bantered about. Companies like Union Carbide (remember them?), who manufacture pesticides, don’t like that kind of talk.

So they figured out how to quash that kind of thinking. Fear. Simple fixes like sealing up gaps to prevent household exposure to cockroaches is not enough. Chemical warfare is the only solution.

No one’s fond of bugs in the house. But giant slobbering hyper detailed real-looking CGI monsters…really? The ad doesn’t have the cartooniness of the Round Up commercial. It’s very much contemporary science fiction horror film imagery and it really, genuinely, is trying to scare you. “Oh, they don’t mean they’re literally giant monsters.” I know they don’t. They’re not addressing the message to the rational mind, the mind that knows that. They’re addressing it to the backbrain, to the subconscious; they’re conditioning you with an exaggerated fear of bugs in order to twist your arm, force you to use their product despite all the bad publicity and common sense. The purpose is to see that you don’t think about it first. They know that fear is the enemy of thinking.

Union Carbide—remember Bhopal? Where a Union Carbide chemical disaster killed 2000 people right away, 18,000 more over time? The people convicted for those deaths got a slap on the wrist for it. Methyl isocynate, a significant component of carbamate pesticides, was one of the primary toxins released there. Union Carbide kept compensation and clean up to a minimum.

That’s how big chemicals companies operate. That’s the mindset. That’s the mentality that creates a television commercial that is extraordinarily, unusually, wildly fear-based to bully people into forgetting they’re selling dangerous toxins.

I asked some online friends to suggest other commercials that are deeply disturbing—or just offensive, and insultingly absurd.

Lori Young offers the example of the notorious Vagisil commercial, in which a young woman is shrinking away from herself, horrified that she has human sensations and smells (if there really were any at all), from her…vagina! The excruciating embarrassment of it. She needs Vagisil’s Hydrocortisone, Benzocaine, Resorcinol, carbomer, Cetyl Alcohol and other ingredients in her vagina now, so she’s not humiliated. Lori suggested that, “All involved in hawking unnecessary feminine ‘hygiene’ products should be forced to douche with a gallon of moonshine.”

Meldie Solley offers: “Anything involving a sloppy man-child who wants to eat food that drips or get things done while playing videogames. I loathe that message of “indulge yourself, you deserve to get exactly what you want exactly when you want it without having to lift a finger, change your clothes or get up from the couch…” And: “Another kind of ad I hate is the smiling, honest, friendly guy who tells you with a kind of humble, homespun tone how much Exxon Mobil cares about helping that butterfly get to the right flower or helping herd the little baby turtles into the clean ocean water.” I wonder why Meldie seems skeptical of their sincerity.

Lisa Tveit: “I find ads that play to and reinforce gender stereotypes (usually the worst and most extreme of them) particularly offensive.” She lists:
1.A recent cell phone ad where the husband comes home to proudly tell his wife, who’s watering the garden/plants in their sunroom or hothouse, that he switched their plan and got more minutes and then, harpy that she is, she rips him a new one for not consulting her.
2.Most of the beer and sports commercials that (especially recently) have been depicting men who will pass over sex for their food and drink…
3.The Christmas Target ad with the blond comedian woman in the red leotard/onesy that screams and hyperventilates and works out to be in shape for shopping sales since that is obviously what she absolutely lives for.
4.A recent round of commercials …where they had repeated images of men getting hit in the balls, over and over, trying to draw a comparison between getting caught not having insurance and being hit in the balls…”

Bill Bridges notes, “Have you noticed how new movie releases went from being ‘Available Tuesday on Blu-Ray and DVD’ to ‘Buy it Tuesday on Blu-Ray and DVD’? The former invites you to check it out, the latter orders you to purchase it.”

And yes, those drug ads.

Stephanie Ratcliffe: “What kinda gets me are the drug commercials where the time it takes for the voice over guy to list of side effects/disclaimers is much longer than any other info given in the commercial, and even includes ‘death’.”

I wonder if parents who’ve lost teen children to pharmaceutical toxicity interactions sit through those drug commercials. “Drugs fix everything.” The commercials warn about side effects—but never about mixing drugs. Which has killed a lot of young people.

Sure, it goes way back. Cigarette commercials, right. But the sickness is now purulenting, bubbling to the surface, oozing…

And by the way—dandelions are as pretty as marigolds, have a lovely light scent, and are edible…wild flowers.


29
Apr 13

Selfishness, Unselfishness, People, Mosquitoes, and Rare Birds

There are people who believe that “everything we do is for a selfish reason”–and on the surface they’re sort of right…but look more deeply and it’s far more complex. They often use some variant of the transactional psyche concept–that everything is a natural exchange for something else–as a rationale for predation. Selfishness in itself is not a viable life philosophy except for mosquitoes and ticks.

Yes, a great many people do engage in selfish selflessness: “I must go, no time to chat, I’m needed at the food bank” and really they’re saying, “I’m a really good person, have you noticed?” They’re volunteering out of vanity. (Better than not volunteering at all, of course.)

Of course, some people may be boastful or show offy about volunteering, but also have empathy and genuine kindness. Some people are a mix. Most volunteering, in a genuinely good cause, is a fine thing.

But there are people who are innately kind, or who learn to let compassion flow from some inner wellspring–from a place connected to the aquifer of consciousness itself. They’re on a path. They don’t dismiss their efforts–they’re wise enough to shed false humility, another form of pride. Kindness flows from them, partly out of benign social instinct, and partly because that’s who they’re becoming, more and more. Those people are rare, but they exist, and rare or not their very existence is quite significant indeed…


24
Apr 13

What good is Twitter? How a Telltale Tic is Twitching us into Twits

This is from today’s Tech Investor News:
“Market recovers after hackers tweeted from the official AP feed that two explosions had hit the White House…Wall Street collided with social media on Tuesday when a false tweet from a trusted news organization sent the sent the US stock market into freefall. The 143-point fall in the Down Jones industrial average came after hackers sent a message from the Twitter feed of the Associated Press saying the White House had been hit by two explosions and that Barack Obama was injured. The fake tweet, which was immediately corrected by Associated Press employees, caused a sensation on Twitter and in the stock market. …”

Going back a few months, it’s now thought that the reason CNN and Fox mistakenly reported, at first, that the Affordable Care Act mandate had been struck down by the Supreme Court… was simply because some chucklehead pseudo-reporter in the room TWEETED the wrong information. (CNN et al may deny this—I don’t believe them, as the indications are strong.)

The “reporter” heard a couple of preliminary remarks and, on impulse, reported them as a conclusion. Since Twitter remarks go out as twitchy impulsive responses, rather than as reasoned assessment, the tweeter 
simply sent out the first hint of a decision, rather than the real SCOTUS
 decision.

Out of a desire to be first with the news in a twitchy, headline-sick nation, CNN and Fox ran with the tweet, expanding it into fallacious news stories… even before Roberts had quite finished speaking. The absurdly inaccurate “Dewey Beats Truman” newspaper headline of 1948 is becoming a 21st century way of journalistic life.

Which brings me to my question, WHAT GOOD IS TWITTER?

Sure, it’s useful to publicists and to lonely people stricken with egregiously short attention spans, but who else does Twitter help, in any serious way? If you’re trying to hype a new Sham-Wu! cleaning product, or tell your fans your new country music album is released, fine; and it has been used for quick updates about people in disaster zones. It has some occasional, fitful usefulness.

But in the big picture, what good is it? Isn’t it actually a deleterious, corrosive influence on people?

The internet itself is useful—it has its destructive side, but it does more good than harm.

Twitter, in my opinion, has its useful side, but does more harm than good.

Twitter is mostly designed for use with mobile devices. Everyone knows that the excessive use of mobile devices is now a corrosive lifestyle influence. Smartphone fixation is ridiculed, satirized again and again. The obsessed are embarrassed by it–yet we keep leaning over that vat of corrosion; we keep falling in.

At a café this morning, I looked over at a lady breakfasting with her two small children. She was staring into her smartphone–I could glimpse a Twitter feed. The children looked bored and unhappy—they kept glancing at her, waiting for her to come back from the “feed”. She was on it the whole time I was there. The kids ate breakfast but, ironically, they clearly felt unfed.

That woman was not in the same room with her children. Just being a body sitting in the same booth is not being there. Of course, there are degrees of detachment, aloofness, even without a smartphone in your hand, but Twitter, texting, and other addictive smartphone media, are inevitably going to extend
those distances.

This is going to sound self righteous, a moral one-upmanship, but I’ll take that hit, because it’s the nearest example I have: I have an iPhone; I use it almost entirely for phone calls, and not too often. I choose not to go on the internet while using my smartphone, unless I need directions or have to check the traffic.

I mention this just to show it really is possible to use the damn things sparingly. I’m going to post this very article on the internet—I do most of my writing research on the internet—but that happens at my desk, where I spend enough time, and not too much.

I’ve been through the “too much” phase, and I left it behind. I’m bearing witness. I’ve shown it can be done. Others have as well.

It may be that Twitter is the most corrosive influence in smartphone media. It creates a false sense of public notoriety–people imagine that they’re “Twitter celebrities”. Of course, a lot of real celebrities use it—most celebrities have short attention spans anyway, so it’s natural for them–but I think the majority of people use it because they mistakenly think it might help them become celebrated.

And I suspect that at least some of them—faux celebrities and real ones alike–secretly hate themselves for consigning so much of their attention to Twitter… Twitter is, in design, superficial, fragmentary. One cannot form a long thought on Twitter. It’s a medium for froth. There’s a place for froth—but this particular froth is choking us.

Just look at CNN—they are constantly referring to Twitter accounts, they run lines of Twitter commentary below the main heading. Now we’re seeing the fallout from all that exposure. Bad reporting.

CNN leapt into Twitter headfirst; it rapidly succumbed to the trendoid desire for constant electronic update, to the extent that tweets trumped journalism.

Human beings were already prone to impulsiveness, to blurting, to chattering, to speaking without thinking. Twitter over-feeds (so to speak) that proclivity; it stimulates the part of the brain wired for impulse. It jolts the human brain into releasing stimulant chemicals at regular pulses so that the user tends to return to the tweet process spasmodically, compulsively.

Comedians have lost their careers through a single impulsive tweet; more importantly, Anthony Weiner, a good man, lost his congressional seat through succumbing to mindless Twitter impulsiveness.

Twitter rewards short attention spans; it tugs us away from actual thinking, nudges us toward reacting. Craig Newmark, talking to WebProNews, recently observed that Twitter pushes us away from fact checking:

“People often hear rumors, report it on social media, and then the news outlets scramble to get on top of the story and sometimes things are not fact-checked enough in today’s battle to scoop the news first. Overwhelmingly, I hear that people have kind of given up on trusting political news.”

And I’d better give up on this article—I can’t go on too long. I’ll lose too many readers before the end… they want to check their Twitter feed.


16
Apr 13

Interview with..well, with Me, Recorded Live, Online

At ULTRACULTURE: “John Shirley, America’s Most Provocative Science Fiction Author, Stops By for Our First Podcast!

“We’re proud to present the first Ultraculture podcast!”

Discussing my book from PM Press coming in late May, NEW TABOOS, and a lot of other things…

http://www.ultraculture.org/ultraculture-podcast-john-shirley/